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Matt

Matt
Mine-less
04.19.08 | Permalink | 5 Comments

Guess who is getting moved to a new, above ground office with giant windows.
Guess who will not have to suffer from back sweat or fight bitter cold winds during treks to and from the parking lot.
Guess who is getting a lounge with a spacious cafe.
Guess who will be able to order out for lunch, walk […]
Matt
I Always Thought Topanga was Overrated…
12.25.07 | Permalink | Comment?

…so I’ll take the time to run her name through the mud.
Matt
Tracks in the Snow
12.13.07 | Permalink | 2 Comments

“I don’t know what to get my grandma for Christmas.”
“Does your grandma walk outside much? I’m buying mine grips to attach to the bottom of her shoes.”
“My grandma doesn’t have feet. They were amputated 10 years ago.”
Matt
A Pair
12.12.07 | Permalink | Comment?

“If you do decide to go to the wedding, you’re going to need a smokin’ hot date. And by smokin’ hot, I mean she’s going to have fake tits.”
Matt
Eff.
12.11.07 | Permalink | 1 Comment

How do you tell a girl she’s marrying the wrong guy? And why does she leave you a voicemail describing the proposal? And where are all of these porn bot comments coming from? I’m going to listen to the whiniest New Found Glory songs on repeat. And yes, I know they’re a horrible band.
Matt
Someone
11.13.07 | Permalink | 2 Comments

Someone discovered his health benefits haven’t been deducted from his pay since he started his job.
Someone owes Blue Cross/Blue Shield a shitload of money.
Someone’s next paycheck is going to be hella small.
Someone else thinks this is funny.
Matt
The Proposal
10.28.07 | Permalink | 5 Comments

Maybe it’s my inherent love of marketing or maybe it’s the giant pimple that has taken up residence on my left ear lobe (yes, it hurts), but I would like to see ARoB take a new direction. Personally, blogging has always been a great outlet for frustration and good stories during my college years, but […]
Matt
Mormonitis
10.24.07 | Permalink | 1 Comment

Two young Mormons found themselves on my doorstep last Thursday night. I kept their company long enough JUST so I could ask them if they were planning to vote for Mitt Romney.
“We’re not here to make a political statement.”
Through their visit, I found out that Mormons believe Jesus visited the Native Americans.

Since the Mormons’ […]
All Blogs, Matt
Don’t Get Tricked
10.23.07 | Permalink | 3 Comments

It’s always polite to share, so here is the Halloween card made and given to me by Koworker Katie:
I’m a little bummed that someone else got “No, I won’t place my wand in your Chamber of Secrets.”