World, I now present to you Herr Klaus, my sexy new Volkswagen Jetta 2.5 (Value Edition):
I just picked him up today from Central Volkswagen, trading in the well-loved, but increasingly cramped, Helga in the process. He’s “mine” on a 39 month lease, which probably works out better for me anyway, as I’m really not planning on being without a car payment ever and I like having a new car. After my first day of ownership I can compile this shortlist of things that I enjoy about Klaus:
- 2.5 litre, 5-cylinder engine @ 150 hp
- 6-speed automatic transmission with Tiptronic
- 10 speaker sound system
- four doors
- lower monthly payments and lower insurance
Oh, and the name: I wasn’t sure until I saw him exactly what German moniker he’d receive. But, after spending time with him, I definitely got a “Klaus” vibe. Coincidentally - and obviously, if I weren’t retarded - Klaus is short for “Nicholas.” Too perfect.
SORRY, ALL I AM SEEING IS A BIG CHROME MUSTACHE THING.
Remember when I called you at an obscenely early hour? 9am on a Saturday, who does that?
I need rides in Klaus! Also drives. Klaus is also an appropriate name on account of Christmas.